The Adventures of Potty Training Have Begun!

This weekend I decided to start Lou potty training. He's been understanding more of what we say and listening so I thought I would give it a whirl. 

Saturday he did fantastic. We had a timer and when it went off he knew it was time to go try. This went on throughout the day and he did go once and had two accidents. He only had a diaper on for nap and then again for night time. 

He was quite curious about the whole concept of big boy underwear. He kept adjusting and tugging at them. And he had this cute walk where he walked with his legs spread open like he was bow legged.  He kept this up for about ten minutes after each try. It seemed when he finally got use to them the timer went off and he had to start from square one. 

Sunday didn't go as well. He just wasn't into it. I gave up about noon because he had a fit every time I took him to the bathroom. Today, Monday, hasn't gone well either. Again he's throwing a fit at the mention of going to the bathroom. I guess I'll give him the day off and we'll try again on Wednesday. Tomorrow is out as he'll be in therapies the whole day. 

If any mommy's of special needs kids have any tips, tricks, or advice on this adventure please comment below. He is so different from my other two! I need all the help I can get. Thanks in advance

Dear Lou, 

I'm proud of you. I can't wait till you are potty trained. I'm standing in your corner and will cheer you every step of the way. I know you can do it. 

I love you to pieces, 

Mommy 

Luke's First Full Sentence

Last night Luke used spontaneous speech in the form on a full sentence! Josh and I were shocked and excited all at once. He said, "Mommy! Can I have some juice please?" 

All evening he was requesting juice by using his normal phrasing of "Juice please" or "Mommy, want juice?" I was denying him his requests because it was getting close to bedtime and I didn't want him full of juice before he hit the pillow. I did my best to avoid it by stating, "All done juice." and he would reply, "All done juice. Bye, bye." He then would run off and play, but after a couple of minutes he would return asking again. 

I think he had enough of me denying him so he decided to one up me by asking in the form he did. Needless to say he won. I was so proud of him I caved and gave him a small drink of juice after he asked. 

I'm not sure he'll do it again. I hope he will. I'm going to savor this moment though. He's learning and trying really hard to be with us. I can't ask for anything more. 

Dear Luke, 

Good job Buddy! Daddy and I are so proud of you. We're standing in your corner always. 

Love, hugs, kisses, and giggles, 

Mommy and Daddy

Bullies

 How could any one bully this girl? She's sweet, caring, loyal, smart, funny and did I mention gorgeous? It breaks my heart that she comes home with sagging shoulders and I can't do anything to protect her. All I can do is pick her up, dust her off, and reassure her that she's perfect just the way she is. 

She was beaming Wednesday when she left for school. She was so excited that it was crazy hat day and she could wear my Mardi Gras hat. She got out of the car proud. I was beaming, watching her walk with such confidence. I was bragging to Josh on the phone as I was driving away from the school about how proud she was to wear the hat and she looked so pretty with all the confidence she was projecting. 

I was so upset when she got in the car after school and all that confidence was gone that I was holding back tears. I did my best to reassure her, telling her that the kids that were making fun of her were jealous that they didn't have such a pretty hat and not to take it to heart. She said, "I know Mom. It's just hard that not everybody likes me." I didn't know what to say. I don't want her to lose her innocence. I wanted to tell her to say something back, like "you're just jealous" or "whatever" but I don't want her to become callous and negative. 

When Josh got home he said some reassuring things to her that made her smile. We all got on the trampoline and jumped the sadness away and watched our girl bounce back. We then went out to dinner and surrounded her with as much love as we could without smothering. She's an angel, when we were getting ready for bed she said, "Thanks Mom." gave me a hug and went to bed.

Dear Sweet Izzy, 

You're perfect just the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you different. Keep your smile, your strength and your faith. We love you no matter what. 

Mommy & Daddy

Elated

Tonight we're very proud of Luke. Out of no where, he decided he wanted to eat a cheeseburger for dinner. I sat with him and helped him take each bite and he managed to get through the whole thing! After every bite he would say, "Mmmm! This is delicious! Mommy, this is delicious!" I would then have to say, "Mmmm, yummy burger." And he would continue to take a bite after each back and forth phrase. 

 For awhile now, we could see that he really wanted to like burgers because he would see us eating them and say, "Yummy burger." We would always offer him one and put it on his plate but he would just push it away. We are completely elated that he decided on his own to venture out and try something new.

Dear Luke, 

Hooray!!!! We're so proud of you! Keep up the great work! We look forward to exploring more foods with you. Keep surprising us. We promise to keep up! 

Hugs and Kisses, 

Mommy and Daddy

Update for Lou

Lou is blooming faster than I can type!! So excited for all the things that he has been able to accomplish these past few weeks. Here are bullets of things that he has accomplished from December to now.

• He is eating more foods! He hasn't expanded a whole lot but he ate his pizza appropriately with us the other night. And out of the blue he decided he likes fresh broccoli and carrots with ranch. He saw Bear and Izzy eating them and decided he would give them a whirl! He loved it and that was his dinner for the night. 
• He is more independent. He is now able to walk into school without me holding on to him. He walks in with me, greets the secretaries, and sits on a bench while I sign in and get a pass to walk him to class. Two months ago I had to hold on and struggle to keep him next to me while I waited to get my pass. 
• He is becoming more verbal. He requests things he needs more. Speech is a constant struggle still. Some days he'll make every effort to communicate with us and some he'll just expect me to know. His favorite things he requests are milk, bed, trampoline, pressure, and peanut butter sandwiches.
• He is becoming more engaging. He is starting to play with his siblings more. It's still small doses but it's such a huge step. 
• His receptive language is starting to develop. We can now ask him to do simple tasks like pick up toys, put dirty clothes in the bin, throw his diaper and other trash away. Two months ago it was just throw his diaper away. He now can apply that skill to other things when he is "helping" clean and when he gets dressed at night. 
• He is starting to learn social cues. Emotions are still confusing but he is learning when it's appropriate to be quiet and when he can make noise. Thank you Yo Gabba Gabba for their song about inside voices and outside voices. 
• He made it through one service of church without a meltdown. We have been unable to attend since but I'll take once a month over none at all. 

Here are the things we are working on:

• Getting dressed. He still doesn't dress himself. Coordination is still really hard. If we start with him and help him get the legs on he can can pull up his pants. Two days ago he figured out how to get on one shoe but the other one was a mystery to him. 
• Self regulation. He still depends on Josh and me to get him through when he is overwhelmed. 
• Potty training. We haven't started yet since he's had so much change go on in school and in his therapies. Hopefully Spring Break from school will be a great time to start. 
• Hair cuts. Luke HATES the barber shop. I have been cutting his hair myself with just scissors and that seems to be working for now. I'm looking forward to the day where we can take him to get it done and it is straight! 

Dear Luke,

We are in awe of your progress! You continue to prove to us that you can do anything! We continue to stand with you and cheer you on. 

We love you to pieces, 

Mommy and Daddy

 

St. Valentine's Day 2012

The day of love we spent the at UNMH with Luke to get one final test, genetic testing, done pertaining to his Autism diagnosis. Lou was in good spirits for the most part. He had no idea why we were there or what was coming. Mommy got lost trying to find the pediatric specialty clinic but he was a little trooper and went along with all my wrong turns and wrong elevators with giggles and smiles. 

When we finally arrived at our destination, Daddy met us there and took over Luke's care while I handled getting him signed in and all the "fun" paperwork stuff. The appointment was long. Luke refused the scale. He had a meltdown while trying to get all his stats. The nurses gave up after a couple of minutes and said they would try again later. After they put us in our room Luke calmed and played nicely with the toys they had on the wall. 

After awhile, a geneticist counselor came in to ask us a slew of questions pertaining to family history, my pregnancy with Luke, and all my previous pregnancies. Luke did okay through all of that. He had a couple of outbursts and insisted on banging on the wall. It took a little convincing, but the Ipod seemed to help him calm and get him regulated while we finished. 

After the counselor, came in the doctor. He was nice and VERY good with Luke. He was able to get Luke to respond and giggle and make eye contact. All huge accomplishments for Luke! The doctor explained everything that he was looking for while he examined Luke. How far apart his eyes were, the size of his ears, the shape of his feet and toes, his reflexes, etc. As a mom sitting there watching him examine Luke was excruciating. He's my son, I think he's perfect and here is this doctor looking for flaws. I know it's his job and I know I agreed to it, but still. It bothered me.

When he was done with his examination on Luke, the doctor started to explain the testing that was to come. I wish I could repeat what all that was said but I can't. The doctor asked if we understood why we were there and I said no and he explained it again but it was still all gibberish to me. I feel like a bad mother subjecting my son to the torment of needles when I don't fully understand everything. Josh could explain it better so if any one has questions he can answer them.

The doctor finished with Luke and in came three nurses to help secure Luke so they could take a couple of vials of blood for the testing. It was long a excruciating time for both me and Josh. The first poke didn't go so well. The person that tried was a student and messed up so the lead nurse had to go in again to get the sample. It was the longest ten minutes of our lives. Luke was saying, "Owie, Mommy!" over and over again. Josh was holding his head still, I was holding his shoulders down, and another nurse had his legs secure. I felt horrible and had tears streaming down my cheeks as I tried to console him and rub his forehead.

They did get the sample that was needed and they were very nice and caring towards us and Luke. They got a juice box for Luke and a water for Josh to help everyone calm down. Josh was white as a ghost by the end of everything and had to sit down for a minute to get himself together. He's an incredible dad. He doesn't do well with needles but stayed strong enough to stand by Luke, hold his head, and whisper reassuring words in his ear.

When Josh felt ready to move we headed to go find a snack for Luke and head home. I was a "bad" mom and allowed Luke to have two bags of peanut m&m's. I felt he deserved it and it put a smile on his face so it was worth it to me.

Dear Luke,
Thank you for being a super little boy. I'm glad the worst part is over and I hope this opens more doors for you. I am in awe of your strength at such a young age.
We love you to pieces,
Mommy & Daddy

What 2011 Taught Me

 

(I started this blog on December 30, 2011 in hopes I would post on the first of the year or so. Well "or so" turned out to be February. I'm not sure why I've been so hesitant to post this one but I have had major reservations about sharing this. Here goes nothing! Enjoy.)

2011 was a year of testing and discovery. I discovered more about myself and about my relationships than I ever thought possible.

As many of you know, our Luke was diagnosed with Autism. Our year of 2011 was forever minted into tests, doctors, tantrums (from everyone), tears, sleepless nights, more tears, frustration, laughter, relief, confusion, some more tears, strength, bonds, and discovery.

I learned as a mother that I cannot take on everything on my own and be successful. I have to trust in my partner, my love, my husband, and speak up when I'm drowning in a task.

I learned I can't trust every professional and their opinions when it comes to my children. They do not know my child as well as I do. Therefore, I have to speak up faster when I don't feel a certain situation or task is appropriate for my children. Trusting my gut still applies even after they are walking.

I learned that our older two children are more amazing and compassionate than I ever thought they were capable of. Whenever they see Luke in meltdown mode they do what they think is needed to help the situation, and 99% of the time what they have to offer is what Luke needs. Jaron has even given up his Bear Blanket for Luke to help him calm down. (If you know Jaron and Bear Blanket then you know he is making a huge sacrifice for his brother.)   

I learned that I don't like change as much as I previously stated. Embracing change is harder in my own personal world than it ever was in my professional world, but I did it. It was hard, rough, and challenging, but I did it with Josh's help. We stood together and made hard changes for our family and we are reaping the benefits now.

I discovered I am more vulnerable than I thought and I learned that it's okay.

I discovered that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Looking back on the past year I can't believe I'm still standing and smiling. I didn't accomplish the year on my own though and I'm thankful for Joshua for being my rock and keeping us on a positive path.

I discovered support from the unlikeliest places. Facebook and our blog, opened a door of support that I didn't know I would appreciate so much. The simplest message of "I support you" or "Praying" meant more to me than I could ever explain.

Dear Readers, Supporters, Josh, Izzy, Bear, and Luke,

2011 was a year of change and my family couldn't have made it without each one of you. You may not have done anything directly, but the simplest gesture meant more to me than I could ever describe. My hope for 2012 is to stay on the path we are on and continue to watch each of our children blossom into the sophisticated individuals they are showing us they are.
Sending blessings, love, hugs, and kisses,
Christina